Vivah!

Movie: Vivah
Director: Sooraj Barjatya

Actors: Shahid Kapoor, Amruta Rao, Alok Nath, Seema Biswas, Anupam Kher, plus many more!


I was forced, again and again, by my better half :-) to watch this movie. So one fine evening, I rented the DVD of this movie for 30 bucks... 4 hours... thats 240 mins of torture! sheer torture!! for 30 Rs! Thats 8 mins of torture for 1 Rs!!

Probably one of the worst movie in the recent times... the movie has NOTHING! Poor acting, meaningless songs like "Milan abhi adha adhura hai", heavy, pure hindi dilogues, like, "Hamari beti ki Vivah ki tithi nischit karni hai, panditji!" (WTF! who talks like that these days?) and hero with name "PREM"!


I am glad that this film was a duper duper ultra flop! People like Sooraj Barjatya, Karan Johar and folks at Rajeshri and Yashraj Films think that they can show anything "sugar dipped" with loads of glycerin and people would come running in theaters. Well...thats not the case anymore!

Back to the film... per the promoters, it talks about "Journey from Engagement to Marriage"! Well, it surely doesn't do that very well... :-) The whole movie looks so 'False' and 'untrue'.

Here is this one guy, searching for a groom for his dead brother's daughter, bingo! First shot gets a marriage proposal from the son of a CEO of a big company! (Should be Import/Export firm, coz in hindi movies, if they don't tell you what business that company does, its Import/Export by default.!) Bingo! engagement in the first meeting! and then the pain begins for next 3 hrs 40 mins!

Forgot to mention... this guy (Alok Nath) who is searching for a groom for his niece (his dead brother's daughter) also has his own daughter (a good looking model purposefully and professionally made black with makeup... yes! literally black!) and he loves his niece more than his daughter (racist!?) Not a single dialogue in entire movie with his own daughter! And yes... you also have his wife (Seema Biswas), who is another raciest... she hates Amruta Rao the whole movie coz she is fairer than her own daughter.

Anyway... so the breakup remaining 3h 45m is: Once they get engaged, then for 3 hours, they just 'try' to talk to each other, songs in dreams, Important project overseas and no one to go but the hero himself, sugar dipped talking over the phone, "hame sirf bahu chahiye... aur kuch nahi", shadi ka joda, "Tumhari awaj sunke bla bla bla"etc etc...

And then this poor, unfortunate accident happens... a fire in the house! A day before the wedding! Run! Run!!! But no... Amrita goes back in the burning house saves her sister and she herself is heavily burnt in the due course... BUT thankfully (thanks to the director) nothing happens to her face and they still get married to eachother. Nothing great!

But it's Sooraj Barjatya... so the Shahid marries her, puts 'sindur' in her 'maang' and that's when when she is in damn ICU... and icing on the cake -- he changes her dressing on their 'Suhagraat' where in fact what he should be doing is 'undressing' ";-) ;-) ;-)

So... a total wastage of 4 hours. On scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being highest, I would rate it -2.